this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
