why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
