i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize
