I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
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