Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
either way he was missing a nipple.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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