it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
