Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Sext me about skeletons
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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