if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
