So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
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