you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
