do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize