he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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