i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
