There is no way he is gay with that hair.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize