I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize