went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
If I die, sorry about rent.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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