He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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