ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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