Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
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