omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
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