I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Sober January is a disaster.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
