Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
