we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
