I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
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