Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize