I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
