HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
