You're completely useless in the revolution.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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