Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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