she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
