You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Randomize
