guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
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