we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
