woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
