just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
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