I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
