people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
