I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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