people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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