Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
