whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
