dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
