spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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