It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
