Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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