our cab driver is having phone sex.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
