Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize