There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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