Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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