Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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