You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
