my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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