great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
