is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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