how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
