Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
