so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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