TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
