I want to walk on stilts...naked
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
