Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
