Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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