..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
i came on her dog
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
