today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
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