It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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