what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
